But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I want a musical about memes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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