Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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