All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
