you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
