You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
