She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
