Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
