I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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