i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
