Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
