By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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