I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
