He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
