All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
