i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
