i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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