you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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