He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
