What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
