I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
