what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
