what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
