Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize