we made out on top of his cat.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
