I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
