I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
