Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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