you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize