so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want you more than these girls want KFC
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
