Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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