I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
