my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
