He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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