I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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