Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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