She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
