This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
