i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
