TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
