Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
