I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
