I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
