He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
