Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
