I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
