I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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