doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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