we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
