Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
