I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
