wakey wakey hands off snakey
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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