Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
