Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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