Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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