Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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