Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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