I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
