So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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