No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
