I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
