i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
