If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
