my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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