My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize