Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
