then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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