his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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